Friday, July 6, 2007

i-TFTD #27: Something Plus Acceptance

When someone is doing something or about to do something, in a way I don't want it to be done -- and I am not able to accept it -- I become angry.

When someone is doing something or about to do something, in a way I don't want it to be done -- and I am able to accept it -- I remain tolerant.

When someone is having something or someone is able to produce the results which I am not able to produce:
If I am not able to accept it, I become jealous;
If I am able to accept it, I get inspired.

When I am encountering uncertainty or is about to encounter uncertainty, which I am not sure how I am going to handle:
If I am not able to accept it, it causes fear in me;
If I am able to accept it, I feel adventurous about it.

When someone has done something that has emotionally hurt me:
If I am not able to accept it, it develops hatred in me;
If I am able to accept it, it helps me forgive them.

When someone is present in my thoughts, but is not physically present:
If I am not able to accept it, I say I am missing you;
If I am able to accept it, I say I am thinking of you.

Thus, Emotional Equation becomes:

Something + acceptance = positive emotion

Something + non-acceptance = negative emotion

So, it is not something or someone who is making me feel positive or negative, but it's my acceptance or non-acceptance of something or someone, which impacts things.

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Basic fact needed for spiritual and even psychological maturity. We accept its logic when we read it but are we able to practise its lesson?

Sometimes one wonders what is the difference between passive non-confrontation (out of fear) and positive acceptance and tolerance. I guess the difference is how it makes me feel in the long term. If I am uncomfortable or resentful for a long time, I probably avoided something in the guise of acceptance. If I am able to dispassionately look back and analyze the situation, and feel satisfied that I made a mature choice, then it could be an indicator of true acceptance.


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