i-TFTD #41: Two Lives and Resistance

Your Unlived Life
Every day we wake up, and, whether we know or appreciate it, we wage an invisible war against an unquenchable foe. This unseen enemy stands between the life we live and the unlived life within us. Fall victim to it as most do and mediocrity is your course. Overcome it and your glory will be the success and accomplishment that can only come with living your Unlived Life.

by Steven Pressfield (This is an excerpt of the article at http://www.nightingaleconant.com/ae_article.aspx?a=achievingyourunlivedlife&i=180&page=3)

DEFINING THE ENEMY
Most of us have two lives. The life we live, and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands Resistance. Have you ever brought home a treadmill and let it gather dust in the attic? Ever resolved on a diet, a course of yoga, and then quit on it? Are you a writer who doesn't write, a painter who doesn't paint, an entrepreneur who never starts a venture? Then you know what Resistance is.

Resistance is the most toxic force on the planet. It is the root of more unhappiness than poverty, disease, and dysfunction. Resistance is faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, harder to kick than crack cocaine. We're not alone if we've been mown down by Resistance; millions of good men and women have bitten the dust before us. And here's the biggest problem: We don't even know what hit us. I never did. From age 24 to 32, Resistance kicked my ass from East Coast to West and back again 13 times, and I never even knew it existed. I looked everywhere for the enemy and failed to see it right in front of my face.

Look into your own heart. Even though you've only read a few paragraphs into this article, unless I'm crazy, right now a still, small voice is piping up, telling you as it has 10 thousand times, the calling that is yours and yours alone. You know it. No one has to tell you. And unless I'm crazy, you're no closer to taking action on it than you were yesterday or will be tomorrow. You think Resistance isn't real? Resistance will bury you!

You know, Hitler wanted to be an artist. At 18 he took his inheritance, 700 kronen, and moved to Vienna to live and study. He applied to the Academy of Fine Arts and later to the School of Architecture. Ever see one of his paintings? Neither have I. Resistance beat him. Call it overstatement, but I'll say it anyway: It was easier for Hitler to start World War II than it was for him to face a blank square of canvas.

RESISTANCE IS INVISIBLE
Resistance cannot be seen, touched, heard, or smelled. But it can be felt. It is experienced as a force field emanating from a work-in-potential. It's a repelling force. It's negative. Its intention is to shove the creator away, distract him, sap his energy, incapacitate him.

If Resistance wins, the venture doesn't get started.
RESISTANCE IS INTERNAL
Resistance seems to come from outside ourselves. We locate it in spouses, jobs, bosses, kids, distractions. "Peripheral opponents," as Pat Riley used to say when he coached the Los Angeles Lakers. Resistance is not a peripheral opponent. Resistance arises from within. It is self-generated and self-perpetuated. Resistance is the enemy within.

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At some point in our maturity about life and the universe, we have to strike the right balance between aspiring for further progress and accepting our own limitations. Of course these limits can be transcended but only through our own actions. Small steps forward are much better than grand visions or vague yearnings.

i-TFTD #40

#40-1. People in any organization will tend to treat new concepts and ideas as follows: 5% will accept immediately, 25% will lean towards acceptance, 60% will wait and see if it seems okay, 10% will never accept anything.

-Anon

#40-2. What gets measured gets done; what gets recognized gets done even better.
-Anon

#40-3. There are two types of people who can tell you the truth about yourself: an enemy who has lost his temper and a friend who loves you dearly.

-Anon

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The 5% early adopters tend to get ignored but they along with the 25% "almost-adopters" must be nurtured as evangelizers, who can help in converting the cautious 60%. The 10% nay-sayers tend to get too much attention, they must be largely ignored, only their impact has to be contained.

More and more research is proving that managers and parents are being too stingy with praise and recognition.

I like the learning value implied in the third quote. We could train ourselves to glimpse the truth brought out by an angry enemy.

i-TFTD #39

#39-1. The only difference between where you are right now and where you'll be five years from now are the people you meet and the books you read.

-Charlie Jones

#39-2. Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket.
-Swami Chinmayananda

#39-3. Make mistakes faster than the competition, so you have more chances to learn and win.
-John W. Holt Jr.

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Some say they have no time to read, or that books cannot teach; some are too busy to consciously try and meet new people. Not doing both of these makes us miss so many opportunities to learn interesting and useful aspects about life. And obviously impacts our career.

The second is something we need to remind ourselves constantly. We often blame external entities or circumstances for our career, our mood, our happiness. Maybe because it is easy and lessens our guilt.

Dynamic people and organizations try many things boldly, knowing that some would fail but at least some would succeed. They progress faster than those who ponder and analyze too much in trying to avoid failure.

i-TFTD #38

#38-1. Developing excellent communication skills is absolutely essential to effective leadership. The leader must be able to share knowledge and ideas to transmit a sense of urgency and enthusiasm to others. If a leader can't get a message across clearly and motivate others to act on it, then having a message doesn't even matter.

-Gilbert Amelio

#38-2. The key that unlocks energy is desire. It's also the key to a long and interesting life. If we expect to create any drive, any real force within ourselves, we have to get excited.

-Earl Nightingale

#38-3. The sign of intelligent people is their ability to control emotions by the application of reason.
-Marya Mannes

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In my view, the ancient debate about form versus substance has now settled somewhere in between -- both are important.

The second and third could appear to be contradictory to some. They are not. Desire, excitement, passion are pre-requisites for excellence. Intelligent people would channelize these "good" emotions for good purposes.

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i-TFTD #37

1. If things are not going well with you, begin your effort at correcting the situation by carefully examining the service you are rendering, and especially the spirit in which you are rendering it.

-Roger Babson

2. In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins -- not through strength but by perseverance.

-H. Jackson Brown

3. The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.

-Alvin Toffler

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The concept of "servant leadership" has been gaining prominence with books and blogs dedicated to the subject. I believe Mahatma Gandhi proved that a different kind of leadership is possible and effective. Service orientation can be applied at many levels usefully.

Persistence, perseverance, stubbornness (in a positive sense)... key qualities that most of us can work to acquire and benefit from.

The last quote from Toffler, one of the few truly prophetic futurists, is profound. His books are difficult to read but have time and again predicted future trends in business and society. Learnability is the ultimate skill today, that usually tends to reduce with experience.

i-TFTD #36: Put a Shark in Your Tank

*** Fresh Fish Challenge: Put a Shark in Your Tank ***
-Author unknown

The Japanese have always loved fresh fish. But the waters close to Japan have not held many fish for decades. So to feed the Japanese population, fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever. The farther the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring in the fish. If the return trip took more than a few days, the fish were not fresh. The Japanese did not like the taste.

To solve this problem, fishing companies installed freezers on their boats. They would catch the fish and freeze them at sea. Freezers allowed the boats to go farther and stay longer. however, the Japanese could taste the difference between fresh and frozen and they did not like frozen fish. The frozen fish brought a lower rice.  So fishing companies installed fish tanks. They would catch the fish and stuff them in the tanks, fin to fin. After a little hashing around, the fish stopped moving. They were tired and dull, but alive.

Unfortunately, the Japanese could still taste the difference. Because the fish did not move for days, they lost their fresh-fish taste. The Japanese preferred the lively taste of fresh fish, not sluggish fish. So how did Japanese fishing companies solve this problem? How do they get fresh-tasting fish to Japan?  To keep the fish tasting fresh, the Japanese fishing companies still put the fish in the tanks. But now they add a small shark to each tank. The shark eats a few fish, but most of the fish arrive in a very lively state. The fish are challenged.

As soon as you reach your goals, such as finding a wonderful mate, starting a successful company, paying off your debts or whatever, you might lose your passion. You don't need to work so hard so you relax.  Like the Japanese fish problem, the best solution is simple. It was observed by L. Ron Hubbard in the early 1950's: "Man thrives, oddly enough, only in the presence of a challenging environment."

*** The Benefits of a Challenge ***
The more intelligent, persistent and competent you are, the more you enjoy a good problem. If your challenges are the correct size, and if you are steadily conquering those challenges, you are happy. You think of your challenges and get energized. You are excited to try new solutions. You have fun. You are alive!

*** Recommendations ***
-Instead of avoiding challenges, jump into them. Beat the heck out of them.
-Enjoy the game.
-If your challenges are too large or too numerous, do not give up. Failing makes you tired. Instead, reorganize. Find more determination, more knowledge, more help.

-Don't create success and lie in it. You have resources, skills and abilities to make a difference.
-Put a shark in your tank and see how far you can really go!

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Some of us vegetarians might not identify with this fish-y story but the lesson is valid. The "flow" state of optimal performance is also achieved only when people are engaged in slightly difficult goals and not when something is beyond their perceived ability nor when something is too easy.

i-TFTD #35: Mother's Day

A man stopped at a flower shop to order some flowers to be wired to his mother who lived two hundred miles away. As he got out of his car he noticed a young girl sitting on the curb sobbing.

He asked her what was wrong and she replied, "I wanted to buy a red rose for my mother. But I only have seventy-five cents, and a rose costs two dollars." The man smiled and said, "Come on in with me. I'll buy you a rose."

He bought the little girl her rose and ordered his own mother's flowers.

As they were leaving he offered the girl a ride home. She said, "Yes, please! You can take me to my mother."

She directed him to a cemetery, where she placed the rose on a freshly dug grave.

The man returned to the flower shop, canceled the wire order, picked up a bouquet and drove the two hundred miles to his mother's house.

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While the touching aspect of this story is obvious, I find other interesting thought-triggers in it.

1. We often need a comparative reference in order to relook at something and realize its value. Could we consciously acquire the habit to periodically revisit existing situations, people, relationships and investments with a fresh perspective?

2. The man seems to be have an inherent sensitivity and willingness to open himself to an unplanned experience, which, in turn, led to something good. If he ignored the sobbing girl or even just gave her money and walked away, there would be no story. I have personally experienced that many interesting new things happened in activities that were not only unplanned but could-not-have-been planned.