i-TFTD #63: Gestalt Prayer and Beyond

Gestalt Prayer
-Fritz Perls (written in 1969 by the proponent of gestalt therapy)

I do my thing and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
And you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.
If not, it can't be helped.

_____
In the 80s and 90s, the above little snippet was fashionable to forward and practice. I always felt uncomfortable, not with the individualism but with the finality of tone in it, the "unconnectedness". My own thing was to understand other people, celebrate the differences and the similarities but I was unable to put it in words even within my own mind. My struggle found resolution, I found the ++ ("plus-plus") answer to the I, Me, Myself philosophy in a write-up from another psychologist. It is a repartee to the above, but it is more than that. It enlarges the above, simplistic vision to the real world of teams, relationships and connectedness in life. Here is that write-up:

Beyond Perls
-Tubbs W. (written in 1972 in the Journal of Humanistic Psychology)

If I just do my thing and you do yours,
We stand in danger of losing each other
And ourselves

I am not in this world to live up to your expectations;
But I am in this world to confirm you
As a unique human being,
And to be confirmed by you.

We are fully ourselves only in relation to each other;
The 'I' detached from a 'Thou' disintegrates.

I do not find you by chance; I find you by an active life
Of reaching out.

Rather than letting things passively happen to me,
I can act intentionally to make them happen.

I must begin with myself, true;

But I must not end with myself;

The truth begins with two.